Expressing a slight amount of vulnerability can be an effective weapon in negotiations. It is done simply by letting the employer know that accepting the job on the terms offered would cause you some personal difficulties.

      When you use this strategy, it plays to the employer's desire to make you happy. For example, you can be flattered by the offer, but say that you may have to disappoint your family in order to afford the job: "I love the job and really want to join you, but we'd have some difficulty because of the options I will be losing. Is there a chance you could go a little higher?"

      Questioning, rather than demanding, is the rule. The best negotiators persuade others through questions. This gives them needed information to put themselves in control. It also gives them time to think and to avoid putting their cards on the table.

      Good negotiators will not say, "I do not agree with you because ... " Rather, they will say, "Charles, you do make a good point, but I wonder if there is room for another view." They would never say, "That would not be any good for me." They might say, "Charles, could you tell me how you think this would work for me?"

      Then they will follow up with questions, so the employer can discover the proposal is not quite enough. So, let employers discover for themselves the validity of your request. If your questions lead them to discover they were wrong, they will be more disposed to changing the terms.

© 2012 Robert J. Gerberg    All rights reserved